If I Were A Spammer

Rich Brown

lyrics: Copyright 1996, rab@lydia.mn.org (Rich Brown). Permission granted for performance or republication where no money changes hands. Keep this notice. For-pay and/or for-profit uses negotiable.

TTTO: If I Had A Hammer

If I were a spammer
I'd clammor in the Newsgroups
I'd yammer in your e-mail,

I'd spam about Green Cards
I'd spam about Phone Sex
I'd spam about Vet Bills For My Little Kitty "Lucky"
'Cause I'd want more - money for me

If I were a zealot
I'd yell it to the Usenet
I'd sell it in my Web page,

I'd tell ya' 'bout Thetans
I'd tell ya' 'bout Aryans
I'd tell ya' 'bout How I Hate The Heathans And The Perverts
'Cause I'd wnat more - power for me

Well I'm not a spammer
And I'm no zealot
But I'll defend them,

If my choice is Those Guys
Or Exon's "Decency"
I'm stickin' with the Net That Has The Spammers And The Zealots
'Cause I want more - freedom for me