The DHMO Song

Mark A. Mandel

Copyright 1997 by Mark A. Mandel

TTTO: Battle Hymn of the Republic

There's a chemical that poses deadly danger to us all
If we don't eliminate it, we are headed for a fall
But our governments refuse to see the writing on the wall
  They're going to let us die!

CHORUS (after every verse):
   Ban dihydrogen monoxide!
   Ban dihydrogen monoxide!
   Ban dihydrogen monoxide
     before it kills us all!

Dihydrogen monoxide is a chemical to fear
Uncounted thousands die of inhalation every year
Yet the FDA allows it in our burgers, beans, and beer
  And never questions why!

In gaseous form it's subtle, without color, taste, or smell
But it's part of acid rain, and it's a greenhouse gas as well
It's also found in car exhaust, which makes our cities Hell
  And dirties up the sky!

It's widely used by industry, and agriculture too
They dump it on the ground or in the river when they're through
And from the ecosystem it gets into me and you
  Which they dare not deny!

You'll find dihydrogen monoxide everywhere you go
In oceans, rivers, lakes, and streams, in air and soil and snow
Its quantitative formula is simply H-2-O
  You'll get it if you try!

......[This verse contributed by Gary McGath]
How far DHMO has spread no one can safely tell.
They've found it on Europa, and it's on our Moon as well.
It may well turn our Solar System to a living hell!
It's filling up the sky!

Thanks to the Coalition to Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide

For a look at the other side of the issue, see