This has been doing the rounds for the last few years. I got it off the Net, but without an attribution. If you know it, could you email it to me for inclusion? Thanks .
Note that the '%' prompt indicates that the command should be issued from the C shell, and the '$' prompt indicates the Bourne shell.
% rm meese-ethics rm: meese-ethics nonexistent % ar m God ar: God does not exist % "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence? Unmatched ". % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa? Missing ]. % ^How did the sex change^ operation go? Modifier failed. % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have? Too many ('s. % make love Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. % sleep with me bad character % got a light? No match. % man: why did you get a divorce? man:: Too many arguments. % ^What is saccharine? Bad substitute. % %blow %blow: No such job. % \(- (-: Command not found. % sh $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense no sense in pretending! $ drink < bottle; opener bottle: cannot open opener: not found $ mkdir matter; cat > matter matter: cannot create (First add an /etc/hosts alias of 'elvis') $ ping elvis elvis is alive.