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jokes > Klingon Programmer
I compiled the following from a variety of different
sources on the Web, but I don't think I've found the original
perpetrator. If you know who, could you email
me for inclusion? Thanks.
In August 2011, Antonio Michaelangelo D'Souza emailed me to say that
the source was the now-defunct website
Segfault
Stephen J Baker has a
list of his own Klingon programmer jokes, which he doesn't like other
people reproducing.
Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:
- A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment
his code!
- By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my
family. Prepare to die!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where
you stand!
- Our competitors are without honor!
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium
processors if I am to do battle with this code!
- Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it!
Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
- My program has just dumped Stova Core!
- Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior
that ever lived!