A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were being interviewed.
As part of the process, they were given 2 brass ball bearings, left
alone for a while, then asked what they had done.
Mathematician: "I haven't
anything with them, but
I've some theories about 2-ness."
Physicist: "I've tried to balance one on the other, and have
some ideas about friction."
Engineer: "Er... they broke."
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were on a train heading
north, and had just crossed the border into Scotland.
The engineer looked out of the window and said "Look! Scottish
sheep are black!"
The physicist said, "No, no.
Scottish sheep are
The mathematician looked irritated. "There is at least one
field, containing at least one sheep, of which at least one side is
The statistician : "It's not significant. We only know there's
one black sheep"
The computer scientist : "Oh, no! A special case!"
An engineer and a mathematician were shown into a kitchen, given an
empty pan, and told to boil a pint of water. They both filled the pan
with water, put it on the stove, and boiled it.
The next day they were shown into the kitchen again, given a pan full
of water, and told to boil a pint of water.
The engineer took the pan, put it on the stove, and boiled it.
The mathematician took the pan and emptied it, thereby reducing it
to a previously solved problem.
Three hungry cannibals --- who were a chemist, a physicist and an
engineer --- found a human thigh bone.
The chemist licked it, and put it in water to try to dissolve it.
The physicist tried to break it open to get at the marrow.
The engineer took it, hit the other two over the head, and ate
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with
a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible
amount of fence.
The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then
puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the
least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."
The physicist is next. He creates a circular fence of infinite
radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the
herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence
around the herd."
The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little
thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I
define myself to be on the outside."
-- from HUMOURNET
An engineer, a physicist, and a computer scientist were discussing
what was the oldest profession.
The engineer claimed priority. "Look at all that matter
engineered into amazing constructs like galaxies, stars, and planets."
The physicist disagreed. "Before there were planets, the
matter had to be made from chaos. Physics is responsible for all the
quarks, gluons, photons, and electrons."
The computer scientist coughed modestly. "Ah, but where do you
think the chaos came from?"
Engineers work to a couple of decimal places
Physicists work to an order of magnitude
Astrophysicists work to an order of magnitude in the exponent
Various proofs that
every odd number is
Mathematician: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime. The result
follows by induction."
Physicist: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is
Engineer: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime..."
Computer programmer: "2 is prime, 2 is prime, 2 is prime, 2 is
Economist: "2 is prime, 4 is prime, 6 is prime, 8 is prime..."
A project manager, a hardware engineer, and a programmer were in a
car. Coming down a hill, a tyre got a puncture, the car went out of
control, and a bad crash was only narrowly averted.
The project manager wanted everyone to help draw up a plan of how
to fix the car and carry on.
The hardware engineer wanted to change the tyre and carry on.
The programmer wanted to go back to the top of the hill, drive down
again, and see if the problem happened again.
An engineer thinks that equations are an approximation to reality.
A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to equations.
A mathematician doesn't care.
List of Math Jokes
The problem with engineers is that they tend to cheat in order to
The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy
problems in order to get results.
The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at
toy problems in order to get results.
jokes, ver 6.7 mar 1, 1995