A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were being interviewed.
As part of the process, they were given 2 brass ball bearings, left
alone for a while, then asked what they had done.
- Mathematician: "I haven't done anything with them, but
I've some theories about 2-ness."
- Physicist: "I've tried to balance one on the other, and have
some ideas about friction."
- Engineer: "Er... they broke."
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were on a train heading
north, and had just crossed the border into Scotland.
- The engineer looked out of the window and said "Look! Scottish
sheep are black!"
- The physicist said, "No, no. Some Scottish sheep are
- The mathematician looked irritated. "There is at least one
field, containing at least one sheep, of which at least one side is
- The statistician : "It's not significant. We only know there's
one black sheep"
- The computer scientist : "Oh, no! A special case!"
An engineer and a mathematician were shown into a kitchen, given an
empty pan, and told to boil a pint of water. They both filled the pan
with water, put it on the stove, and boiled it.
The next day they were shown into the kitchen again, given a pan full
of water, and told to boil a pint of water.
- The engineer took the pan, put it on the stove, and boiled it.
- The mathematician took the pan and emptied it, thereby reducing it
to a previously solved problem.
Three hungry cannibals --- who were a chemist, a physicist and an
engineer --- found a human thigh bone.
- The chemist licked it, and put it in water to try to dissolve it.
- The physicist tried to break it open to get at the marrow.
- The engineer took it, hit the other two over the head, and ate
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with
a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible
amount of fence.
- The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then
puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the
least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."
- The physicist is next. He creates a circular fence of infinite
radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the
herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence
around the herd."
- The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little
thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I
define myself to be on the outside."
-- from HUMOURNET
An engineer, a physicist, and a computer scientist were discussing
what was the oldest profession.
- The engineer claimed priority. "Look at all that matter
engineered into amazing constructs like galaxies, stars, and planets."
- The physicist disagreed. "Before there were planets, the
matter had to be made from chaos. Physics is responsible for all the
quarks, gluons, photons, and electrons."
- The computer scientist coughed modestly. "Ah, but where do you
think the chaos came from?"
- Engineers work to a couple of decimal places
- Physicists work to an order of magnitude
- Astrophysicists work to an order of magnitude in the exponent
Various proofs that every odd number is
- Mathematician: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime. The result
follows by induction."
- Physicist: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is
- Engineer: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime..."
- Computer programmer: "2 is prime, 2 is prime, 2 is prime, 2 is
- Economist: "2 is prime, 4 is prime, 6 is prime, 8 is prime..."
A project manager, a hardware engineer, and a programmer were in a
car. Coming down a hill, a tyre got a puncture, the car went out of
control, and a bad crash was only narrowly averted.
- The project manager wanted everyone to help draw up a plan of how
to fix the car and carry on.
- The hardware engineer wanted to change the tyre and carry on.
- The programmer wanted to go back to the top of the hill, drive down
again, and see if the problem happened again.
- An engineer thinks that equations are an approximation to reality.
- A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to equations.
- A mathematician doesn't care.
--- (from Canonical
List of Math Jokes)
- The problem with engineers is that they tend to cheat in order to
- The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy
problems in order to get results.
- The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at
toy problems in order to get results.
--- (from science
jokes, ver 6.7 mar 1, 1995 )